They Put a Ring on It

Patience and Kyle Stuart
(AKA Rasta P-Stu and Rick)

Last month two of my greatest friends from the days at Linfield College got hitched and I was lucky enough to attend their wedding! 

I'm always fascinated by wedding invitations, especially when gift registries are mentioned. This year there was no going off the gift registry for me! I also personally have mixed feelings about the idea of registering for gifts for any occasion. I know some people swear by needing a list to know how to buy someone a gift, but I sort of feel that if I know someone well enough to want to give them a gift, I'll be able to think of something appropriate on my own. Will you think of me when you use your Target napkin rings? I hope not. I'd rather not be remembered for buying plastic crap made in China.

The idea of brides registering for items to fill their new household was started in the the 1920s by the Marshall Fields Department Store. So let's imagine we're roaring it up the the 1920s and suddenly our BFFs are getting married. Chances are good that the lady hasn't lived away from her parents, so in part, has no items needed to make up her future happy household. Maybe the gent has lived away from home, but only owns a hot plate, a mug and a pair of spats. Thank goodness there is a list where I can see that they would like to own a pot, pan, and a set of dishes. I now what you're thinking: Gifts to set up the happy couple, mainly coming from the woman's side? That sounds like a dowry. Yes, popular belief is that the gift registry is an evolved form of a dowry. Is there a problem with that? Not particularly.

Here's what I find most interesting: Given that many people I know who are getting married have lived in their own places for quite some time, and have accumulated items to stock their houses, why do they need to register for a bunch of new items? I'm sure it's for a lot of reasons: wanting higher quality items, needing more of something, not having money to buy a KitchenAid Mixer, etc. What's comical is the fact that the idea of having a gift registry is seen as "critical". This lovely quote was taken from Wikipedia, so take it with the same grain of salt that I do:

The History of the Bridal Registry and Why You Need One

"While some brides may think they can get by without registering their wish list on a bridal registry, this can be a recipe for disaster. If you've ever been to a wedding where the happy couple got three toasters, two toaster ovens, and four sets of silverware as I have, then you know how critical it can be to let your friends and family know what you want and need. Otherwise be prepared for returning the extras and doing exchanges, or getting stuck with those duplicate items."

OMG. The poor couple mentioned is going to be stuck eating toast! How tragic.

Here's my main point: if you want/need to register for anything, why not open yourself up to receiving high quality second hand items? I recently received an invitation to a baby shower and it said, "second hand gifts are appreciated and encouraged" and had a list of items that the couple felt they could use. That was interesting. Parameters were given for the people who aren't good at thinking up their own gifts, and the door was opened for giving second hand items. Love it.

What did I end up doing for the wedding gift? Well, I'm lucky to have friends that appreciate their odd friend (me) and put up with my infatuation with second hand items.....In fact, I didn't even look at the items that K and P registered for, mainly because I wanted to be creative in my gift planning and not be influenced by their list. Here's what I came up with:

• A small cast iron pan for toasting sandwiches (bought at Goodwill)
• An antique blue glass canning jar (from OSU thrift store) that I filled with dried red lentils from the CoOp down the street
• A bottle of Belle Vallee Pinot Noir
• Recipes for Red Lentil Apple Sweet Potato soup, and grilled gorgonzola cheese and green apple sandwiches which I tied to the bottle of wine
• Instructions for the couple to cook together some evening when the season turns chilly

The card made from the wedding invitation

I was especially proud of my recycled wrapping featuring a CoOp paper bag, crumpled magazine photos of food in place of tissue paper, re-used ribbon I had from Christmas and the card I fashioned from the wedding invitation that the couple had designed and made.

It was a fun gift to put together for two great people! And the wedding was a blast!