Bummer - Like Nothing Else

I read an article in the New York Times today about the demise of the Hummer. General Motors tried to off load the company to China, but the Chinese government apparently felt that Hummers do not represent the auto manufacturing goals of the country. Apparently the Chinese government is all hot to manufacture cheap, small, fuel efficient cars for purchase in country and for export (who knew that would be popular?!?!?). And this means that Hummer is going to die. Well, let me be the first in line to strike a nail into that coffin.

I think that Hummers are fine for combat zones. There it makes sense to be protected by a sturdy frame, built to withstand heavy fire. But the Hummer for civilian use has always seemed like pure ridiculousness. I've heard Hummer owners state that they like driving something so large. I once read a magazine interview in which a 65 year old woman said that she felt safer driving a Hummer because it was bigger than everything else. Um, ok. Did you check out the early 90s Cadillac that gets 15 mpg better fuel efficiency, and sits low enough that you could potentially still pull yourself into the driver seat in five years? Those Caddies are freaking boats! Have you considered that if you happen to cause an accident, you'll probably wipe out the family of four who was unlucky enough to be in a collision with a several ton Hummer? Probably not.

Sturdiness and Safety are just excuses for conspicuous consumption. Hummers are expensive and the general public knows this. Gas to fuel the Hummer is also very expensive, so not only can you show off the fact that you drive an expensive car and have the funds to do so, you can also thumb your nose in the face of the environment with your piss poor excuse for a luxury SUV. Aren't you special.

The Hummer website states that,

"HUMMER's trucks, 4X4 vehicles and luxury SUVs combine off-road capabilities and interior comfort, creating the ultimate in rugged sophistication."

I want to know exactly who these people are who need "rugged sophistication". I've never noticed a Hummer anywhere close to a place that could be described as "rugged", unless there's a portion of Malibu that I don't know about. The incredibly bright Crayola inspired colors of the H2 and H3 models rarely feature the mud, dirt or any other evidence of off-roading outside of Hummer advertisements. Maybe I need to venture outside of the west coast and look for the rugged sophisticates who apparently populate Colorado, Utah and Wyoming and have their mud spattered vehicles hiding in the mountains and canyons.

As for "sophistication", I don't even know where to start. Sophistication is defined by Miriam-Webster online as:

1 a : the use of sophistry : sophistic reasoning b : sophism, quibble
2 : the process or result of becoming cultured, knowledgeable, or disillusioned; especially :cultivation, urbanity
3 : the process or result of becoming more complex, developed, or subtle

If there is one thing the Hummer is not, it's subtle.

Perhaps Hummer purchasers think they are showing their complexity and advanced development when they drive their gargantuan beast of a car. Maybe I've misunderstood Maslow's hierarchy of need all these years and when you reach esteem, you go ahead and fork over some serious dough for a car that can help you get to the top (self actualization) and on the way tells the world you've made it!

For some odd reason, I don't seem to equate Hummers or their drivers with culture or knowledge. Apologies to all those rugged sophisticates in the world. Seems to me that any rational person would read the Hummer fact sheet and do a bit of critical thinking (we could even call it "knowledge increasing") about all the things associated with their purchase. A few things seem like they would immediately come to mind, like sticker price, natural resources used to create a car of that size and weight, amount of fuel used and where fuel comes from, and price of that same fuel and the necessity for owning a car that could withstand warfare in American suburbia. Where is the logic?

I'm sure that Hummer owners probably love their cars. I know few people that don't love what ever they've decided to fork over such a huge amount of money to buy, although I suppose some Toyota owners might challenge me on that right now. I can't help but wonder if Hummer owners would have just as much love for any other make and model of car that is entertaining to drive. Let me suggest a mini cooper (used of course) - fun to drive, not a gas hog and attractive. Quite small, but if you've managed avoiding collisions in a Hummer, you'll probably be just as good of a driver in a different car.

When my niece Lexi was about five, she looked out her car window and upon seeing an H2 said, "That's not a Hummer, that's a bummer". Well Lexi, it looks like there will be a few less bummers on the road in the years to come. And I for one, couldn't be happier.